We have struggled with sleepovers...do we allow them? If so, what age? With whom? How late are they allowed to stay on Sat.? Will they be safe? If you say yes to one, how can you say no to another with out offending? etc., etc. It is also hard when is seems "everyone else is doing it" and your kids are begging you for it. Plus they can be a lot of fun.
The decision is also hard because so many children are sexually abused at sleepovers. Our neighbor worked at a place for sexually abused children and said there is NO WAY she will ever let her child do a sleepover. She said most children are sexually abused by friends, relatives, or friends of those groups. Another friend said that in his religious area 1 in 3 kids were being sexually abused at sleepovers. SCARY!!
So what have we decided to do instead? Stay Lates. Our kids are allowed to stay at a friends house later than usual - even later than the normal bedtime. We pick them up around 9:30-10:00 pm. This gives them enough time to watch a movie and goof around. It also eliminates the who do you say yes and no to?
Is it awkward to have this rule? Yes, sometimes. But I would much rather have some awkwardness than my child hurt in that way. For now this seems to be working well and the kiddos like it. Who knows, maybe we'll start a new trend.
Ha! I love it! We have "Late-Overs" which are basically the same thing as your Stay Lates, and even though McKinley has learned this last year that it is not her favorite rule, I feel better knowing that it's a hard and fast rule! Now at least I can tell her that she's not alone and your girls have the same rule!
ReplyDeleteI love that you are doing it too!! I will have to tell my girls. We'll have to get our girls together for one. They would love that!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great thing, and even though your girls may not be huge fans of this newly-instituted family rule, they will thank you in the end. Growing up we weren't allowed to have sleep-overs [generally] either. We did "the 10 o'clock thing" and were picked up at 10 also. This is not only wise for the reasons you mentioned but because sleep is important and usually none of it occurs for a whole night when at a sleep-over. I love your blog am so happy for the pair of new additions you'll be adding soon. Hope all is well! --KATIE
ReplyDeleteThanks for your post Kate! It is nice to hear from someone who lived this rule that you now appreciate it. I'm glad you like my blog...Thanks for reading it! I will be updating about the babies so stay tuned....
ReplyDeleteThom grew up with the same rule, specifically for the sleep reason, or lack there of. I've also worked at a place similar to your neighbor and would have to agree 100%. So we will be doing stay-lates with our kids when they reach that stage.
ReplyDeleteYeah! Another family with the same rule! I love it when I can tell my kids of all these other people who are doing it too! Thanks Sarah!!
ReplyDelete